Such a Pansy

Monday, 26 February 2007 0 comments
Union Station. 6:30 p.m. i'm sitting on a bench minding my business when a homeless dude comes up and presents me with a flower.
dude: pretty flower for pretty girl
me (rolling eyes): huh. thank you
dude (shaking finger): do you know what that flower is called?
me: yes. it's a pansy.
dude (really shocked): gee, most girls don't know that. so could you spare me some change?
me: sorry i'm all out of change... would you like to give the flower to someone who does?
dude (shaking head): it's fine, just keep it. i can't believe you knew the name of the flower.
me: umm, sorry!
he goes off looking for other victims in clueless flora world.

It's Over

Thursday, 22 February 2007 0 comments
my no-alchohol diet for this month is officially over... i had two glasses of wine in the past 2 weeks with the excuse that it was for some celebration or the other... but yesterday under the nose of extremely judgmental bartender, i succumbed to a mango mojito (it was OK) and decided to put the final nail on the coffin of Stupid Pretentious Diet Which Was Never Going to Last, Anyway. yes, yes all of you who've been dyyyying to say "i told you so" can start singing in a chorus. and here i was thinking 28 days couldn't be so bad?! pshaw.

A Few New Friends

Monday, 19 February 2007 0 comments
While I’ve been carefully navigating the slippery sidewalks lately, the dogs in the hood are having a field day in the snow. What is it about the snow that makes kids, animals and everything in between so playful? In the past 4 months since I moved to my new place, six dogs or 3 different pairs have started to recognize me as I start making these high-pitch squeals (something like “heyyy!”) which turns into a conspiring whisper (something like “yesh yesh, show me ze love”) when I approach them.
The black Labrador pair next door are called Java and Laska, named after the software program and the dog in Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina. Whenever I go over, they come bounding to the door together and compete to see who gets to jump first on top of me. Laska is definitely the tamer one but the minute I start scratching Java’s belly, she’s looking at me with those me-too-please kind of eyes. Soo irresistible :)
Mimi and Gigi are the pair of Scottish terriers who live around the corner from my house and are apparently retired show dogs. They still seem to be very obedient and don’t even require leashes when they go out for their walks. And having to live up to their French names and fine pedigree, they like to waltz around wearing these fine looking highland coats, too! Gigi is getting on with age and doesn’t care too much for socializing. But when Mimi comes over to sniff and say hi, Gigi will slowly hobble over to see what the fuss is about.
Recently I’ve started seeing a lot of Duncan and Macduff, west highland white terriers or more commonly known as westies (as shown in picture). The pair of them – named after the characters in Macbeth – love frolicking around in the snow and Duncan is the more excitable of the two. The other day he just hopped up to lick my face, snow and all. Macduff sniffed around my boots for a bit before looking up to declare “hmm, you’re not so bad.” I scratched his neck to show my gratitude and silently prayed my dog back in Delhi was not shooting telepathic rays of utter disdain and contempt.

Post-V-Day Thoughts

Friday, 16 February 2007 0 comments
That's the pink and teddy bear saccharine-infested manufactured holiday that's stuffed down everyone's throats by the card companies and not the World War II commeration i'm talking about. everyone's feeling some sort of pressure (overtly or otherwise) to do something. quite unfair given the fact that christmas and new year's just happened and come on, do you really need an excuse to buy chocolates?? hell no. well, since i spread the love so generously throughout the rest of the year, i randomly picked on some other emotion... such as total indifference. haha!
i decided to trudge to work in a miniature snow storm that hit the region. in case you didn't know, DC-area commuters are weather wussies. there's a little rain and people forget how to drive. there's some 2 inches of snow and it's a federal holiday. not that i mind! :) but there were like 6 people who made it in and we had a pizza party. a colleague's husband sends these huge long-stemmed roses to work every year. and every year she sighs, "when will he learn that tulips are my favourite?" and passes the hershey's chocolate kisses on to us.
later on at night, i'm at Union Station and this woman is walking down the hallway and yelling -or screaming like a banshee - into her phone, "you bastard, you can't do this to me! i can't believe this." her hair is totally disheveled, she's pacing up and down and she looks like she is going to throw the phone at someone or do something really, really bad. so psycho and so scary. "i'm going nuts!! i don't know what i'm going to do!!" she's still yelling. a lot of people stop dead in their tracks to get out of her way, but someone starts laughing at her. i mean this woman was clearly a mental case. and getting dumped by some jerk. on valentine's day. over the phone. the phone???! have a heart... and how pathetic.
On a lighter note, check this out. A math formula for the perfect parrallel dating scene. don't some of you do this already? Thanks, Chhav :D

Butt Fatigue and Other Tales

Monday, 12 February 2007 0 comments
First off, this is going to be a long, but fairly entertaining post considering it was a weekend of many firsts. So brace yourself :)
We were celebrating the birthday of another friend who has joined the ranks of the fabulous Thirty Decade. So in the afternoon, 5 of us girls kidnapped her from home (covering face with ski mask et al) and took her roller skating. It was quite an adventure. The Skate-and-Fun Zone is around 45 mins. outside of DC in a town called Manassas. Naturally it was full of suburban mom and dads with their screaming little tykes rolling around in skates to the cheerful tunes of Who Let the Dogs Out? Surprisingly, the DJ refused to play even the clean version of 50 Cent’s In Da Club, but he was fine spinning “clean songs” like Tempted to Touch, Naughty Girl and the redneck anthem Sweet Home Alabama. Surrounding the rink were gumball machines, a laser tag room, a pizza joint, and just a lot of cheerful and colorful stuff. Did I mention the strobe lights and fog machine? It was like being transported back to your childhood… which was the entire purpose of taking our friend there. I got my pair of rollerskates and bravely entered the rink. Unlike ice skating rinks, this rink did not have a fence surrounding the entire periphery. My friends tried helping me a bit before I fell on my butt for the first time. But kids were falling all over the place like flies – there was no reason I couldn’t do the same, so no fear. Two more butt falls happened, but after a pizza break, I got much better. Like ice skating, I learnt the trick to keep my balance and keep moving… just don’t look down all the time!!
The birthday celebrations continued in the evening with a sumptuous Indian dinner at Heritage. There was too much wastage of food since it was a pre-fixed menu. I also made an exception to my no-alcohol diet and had a glass of red wine. I didn’t drink anything else after that. Then we moved the party to a club called Andalu, also in the Dupont Circle area. The music was pretty decent and we all had a great time dancing. I don’t know at what point the boredom seeped in. I turned to a friend and said, “I think I want to hook up with a random stranger.” And I did. Some desi dude (and it's not that i was looking for a desi in particular, he just looked as bored) was hovering around and we started dancing. He tried to make conversation but I wasn’t obliging. “What’s your name?” he asked. “Doesn’t matter. Any name you want it to be,” I said. Really, there was no point in talking. Then suddenly another girl wanted to dance with him. He clutched my hand tightly – don’t go yet. Err.. ok, so what am I supposed to do? The girl turns to me and says, “You know, he’s a total whore.” I was amused and touched his six-pack. “Of course, he is.” But then she starts dancing with me… nothing wrong with that, it was nice music until whoa! she touches my butt. Umm, thanks but no thanks. I excused myself to go to the bar. Suddenly, six-pack guy grabs my hand, pulls my face towards him and before I knew it, there I was making out with him as my friends watched in shock and awe. As I came up for air, he said, “You must be a Punjabi.” But for a Punjabi himself, he did these weird Karate Kid-type dance moves. Also he thought he was being funny by saying he worked at a 7-11 and his wife (i know, what???) was waiting for him at home. “Goodbye, have a nice life and oh… keep working on those pecs,” I said. We ended up exchanging digits, but he blew it when he asked, “Is your name Deepali?” I stared. “Something like that.” Not that i was planning on marrying him anyway!
So first time 1) rollerskating 2) got hit on by a girl and guy simultaneously and 3) made out with someone without the influence of alcohol in a public place.

Famous Last Words

Thursday, 8 February 2007 0 comments
My new diet may have already come to an end. I was at Sash's place for dinner last night. There were candles, nice wine, great music, and the smell of tender lamb shanks cooking happily - but ever so slowly - in the oven. Sash and Denn (pls bear with the 4-letter names now) did a brilliant job of feeding their friends... of whom, i have to add, were 2 other couples, besides me. apparently the 6th guest was m.i.a. so of course i had to fight off Bridgetty feelings before it hit me they were not a) smug marrieds and b) did not in the least bit make me feel like a loony singleton who did not partake in drinking alchohol. speaking of which, i started off drinking Coke and then at some point i was informed it had been spiked with vodka!! it could have been a convenient deviation of topic - from dogs and all things wonderful related to them - or it could have actually been done. whatever the case, i knew something was odd. but i think i'll try to continue this endeavour for as long as i can... only 3 more weeks till the end of the month!!

Prohibition Time

Monday, 5 February 2007 0 comments
So inspired by Oprah's fitness guru, Bob Greene, i am abstaining from alchohol for a month. According to Greene, when you are on a healthy diet and trying to increase your metabolism, it's important to keep the body as hydrated as possible. Alchohol doesn't help the cause so it's best to avoid it for a while. So no liquor and that includes beer and wine. And since Feb is the shortest month of the year, i thought i might as well grab the bull by its horns, etc. etc.
Not that i'm an alchoholic, but i was rather worried about how i would survive social situations where if one does not drink, one is not having fun or is gently reminded by friends for being a hopeless old fart. But despite the taunts, I survived the past weekend and drank water at the clubs and avoided the beer on Super Bowl Sunday. It sort of feels like the time i was 14 and wanted to be vegetarian for a while (animal rights, etc.) and miserably failed in that venture after just 10 days. So let's see how long this lasts... it's Day Seven.